Hello old friend!

It has been 8 months since I last posted anything on here.  While this is completely and totally my own fault, I do very much feel like the interest in blogs has waned with the rise of Facebook and Twitter popularity.  And while I enjoy a bit of facebooking as much as the next person (well, probably not quite THAT much… some people seem to live on there) I do feel that social networking sites where we share short little witty snippets of our lives with each other have really crippled our ability to:

a.) have the patience to sit and read things as long as blogs.  Facebook and Twitter reinforce and strengthen short attention spans, and,
b.) have real human face-to-face interactions.  Facebook is not a substitute for real life!  Really, I swear!

I’m not just spewing holier-than-thou dogma at everyone but myself- I’m completely guilty of the afore mentioned social crippling behavior patterns as well.  The internet often makes me feel a bit crazy and manic and sometimes I get caught up in bouncing around from site to site and headline to headline without really focusing on or learning anything at all.  I highly respect the people that drop things like Facebook from their lives (or never went there in the first place), but I’m not quite that good a person yet

Anyway, so what’s happened since I climbed a mountain in Washington?  Let’s see…

*Robert and I moved to Portland, a long time goal of mine.  It was wonderful in the abstract, but work was nowhere to be found for me and of the not-a-decent-living-wage-for-him variety… which equals a quirky foodie like myself without the the monetary funds to explore the plethora of Portland’s amazing food establishments, which in turn equals a big plate of frustrating with a heavy side of crazy.  I did still manage to spend a chunk of my savings on the thrift stores there though which also, go figure, are beyond awesome.  However, in the long run, lack of funds and oppressive rain drove us out of Oregon and back to the safety net of Robert’s parents house nestled in the Colorado mountains.  And yes, it’s good to be home again.  Hello Sun!!  The sun definitely helped us both get our mojo back.

*I went to Central America for five and a half weeks.  More than half of that was spent in intensive Spanish classes.  While I’m still light years away from any semblance of fluency, I had another amazing and life-changing experience and I feel forever bettered and changed.  Of all the places I’ve been, Guatemala and Nicaragua take the cake.  I left a big piece of my heart there and I can’t wait to go back.  I continued studying Spanish when I returned, and was doing really well for a couple of months until I fell off the wagon.  Damn it’s hard to learn another language as an adult!  But I’m promising myself that I will continue trudging along the path to bilingualism, even if I’m moving at a snails pace.

*My old coffee shop, Hooked on Colfax, hired me back.  This is the second time I’ve gone on a long hiatus (the other time was 10 months in Europe and North Africa) where my amazing bosses have hired me back.  I’m seriously a lucky gal- they are wonderful people to work for and, while I only work part-time, the steady income is a life saver.

*Don’t know why I feel the need to mention it, but the best thing I bought in Oregon was a 1984 Diesel Volkswagen Rabbit that gets between 45 and 55 miles to the gallon.  Another life saver while I’m living in Evergreen and commuting all over Gods green earth.  Love you mi conejo!

*Robert became an EMT while we were in the Northwest and, after many months of hoop-jumping and waiting, he has a volunteer position with an ambulance company in Northglenn and just got hired on paid staff with Pridemark/Rural Metro.  The starting pay is criminally low, but it’s good experience and after another 9 months of work he can begin a Paramedic program.

*The big news is that I decided to return to herb school which starts in one week.  It’s a 2 year program at Paul Bergner’s school in Boulder, the North American Institute of Medical Herbalism.  I feel really lucky that I got in because it’s the last 2 year cycle Paul is teaching and I got the second-to-last spot.  It was really a case of things falling into place perfectly in an almost divine way, like they tend to do when you’re following the right path.  When I finish I’ll have a certificate in Advanced Herbalism as well as Nutrition and a couple of other things.  I may actually have a hire-able skill.  Me!  Imagine that!  It’s really going to take all my focus to apply myself and re-train my brain.  I’m nervous but also really really excited.  So… wish me luck!

*Robert and I decided, once again, to pick up the idea of having a non-wedding pagan party extravaganza.  We actually even picked a spot- a beautiful meadow up near Jefferson Lake- and, after some debate, picked a date: Summer Solstice 2012.  More plans and news to come… Hopefully this time around we can actually make this happen (we’ve been talking about it for 4 years or more).

Life is weird right now.  It feels scattered and messy and… just complicated.  But I think, all things considered,  it’s heading in a positive direction.  I really feel like coming back to Colorado was the right thing to do.  While some of my close friends feel far away and their (my?) big grown-up lives have made hanging out like the old days all but impossible, I still feel their presence in my heart.  And, like always, new important people have come to the table.  With some wonderful new friends I have been working on a farm in exchange for my CSA and…. we seem to have found the couple that we’re going to buy land with.  Well.  They have “real” jobs and “real” assets, so THEY will buy the land and we will repay them in any and every way our poor asses can.  Through blood, sweat, labor, advice, support, groveling, etc ad infinitum.  For real.

Seriously, I am so blessed, so very, very blessed.

 

More to come sooner rather than later I hope!

Mt Saint Helens

Well, here’s a new one to add to my list of accomplishments.  I climbed a mountain.  A friggin’ mountain!! For a lot of people I know this isn’t really something out of the ordinary- but for me it’s a pretty big deal, especially after a year of sitting in an office chair day in and day out!
Interestingly enough I actually never really had the desire to take on such a thing until I was reading the book “Mountain Rescue Doctor” by Christopher Van Tilburg.  Most of the book made me very much NOT want to climb a mountain as I read about people in all kinds of grisly search and rescue scenarios.  But as the author recounted the Native American myths about Mt. Saint Helens I became intrigued.  From a cool volcano myth website I found:

Northwest Indians told early explorers about the fiery Mount St. Helens. In fact, an Indian name for the mountain, Louwala-Clough, means “smoking mountain”. According to one legend, the mountain was once a beautiful maiden, “Loowit”. When two sons of the Great Spirit “Sahale” fell in love with her, she could not choose between them. The two braves, Wyeast and Klickitat fought over her, burning villages and forests in the process. Sahale was furious. He smote the three lovers and erected a mighty mountain peak where each fell. Because Loowit was beautiful, her mountain (Mount St. Helens) was a beautiful, symmetrical cone of dazzling white. Wyeast (Mount Hood) lifts his head in pride, but Klickitat (Mount Adams) wept to see the beautiful maiden wrapped in snow, so he bends his head as he gazes on St. Helens.
(http://www.crystalinks.com/volcanomyth.html

Van Tilburg posited his own continuation to this myth that I just loved- the idea that when St. Helens, full of powerful and long-contained female energy, blew her top on May 12th, 1980, that all that female energy was once again released into the world.  That story resonated with me so much, along with the fact that the explosion happened a mere 6 weeks after I was born, that, well, I felt drawn to it.  Then Van Tilburg said that it was one of the easiest mountains to climb, can be done in one day, and that it would be the first he would take his young daughters on.  Perfect for a beginning mountain climber like me!

Well, the climb was FAR from what I would call easy, and all things told it took Robert and I about 9 hours (including breaks and playing at the top and stopping every 50 feet to catch my breath.  Robert could have done the climb in probably half the time, but my lame ass lungs are what set the pace).
There is really no trail or switchbacks, so you’re climbing some 5,000 feet straight up through giant boulders and then slick and slippery ash.  It was intense and I could hardly walk for about 3 days after that I was so sore!  But I felt such a sense of accomplishment at even having done it at all, and yes, being on top of a mountain (even a little one) is an incredible feeling.  We literally climbed through a cloud layer and then poked out the top- as though the rest of the world disappeared and it was only us at the top surrounded on all sides by other peaks (and we actually were alone at the summit! Pretty awesome).
From the top of St. Helens you can see Mt. Adams, Mt. Hood AND Mt. Rainer.  And look into a still steaming volcanic mouth. Truly amazing.

There she is.. the shiny parts are snow fields

some foreshadowing…

almost to tree line..

entering the fields of boulders right below the first cloud layer

in the middle of the clouds.. it was like being in a Kurosawa film..

Look! Mt. Adams! (I think…)

the long lonely trek up the ash.  3 steps forwards, 2 steps back..

officially above the first cloud layer..

and… wait for it…

the crater rim!!!

 

volcano guts!!!

 

cute lil’ summit flag

 

 

 

it was ridiculously windy up there..

and then we started the long descent..  we promptly re-entered the clouds where it was very chilly and very wet.  We didn’t actually get rained on though, we got misted on.  This was a new weather experience for me!

brrr.

back at tree line…

and FINI.  This picture does not accurately depict the amount of pain my body is in.  However, it’s slightly fuzzy which shows that Robert’s arms were tired too..

We drove back to Portland and ate giant cheeseburgers.  I love it when you really earn a big fatty meal

back to my roots

I had a really profound dream about 2 months ago. . I don’t generally remember my dreams, (although I have been more lately) but when I do they are usually pretty intense.  I’ve meant to write about this one for weeks now, but hey- what else is new?

So I was outside next to a long building with many doors- it looked a lot like a motel, but one from the Old West or something.  The ground was dusty, packed down dirt.  There was a row of hedges in front of me bordering a field.  I walked up to the hedges next to an acquaintance of mine (a girl from my herb class).  Way out in the middle of the field was a bull.  It was doing it’s bull thing, pawing at the ground a bit and snorting, but seemed in it’s own world.  The friend of mine was warning me that it was coming, it was going to charge, and telling me what I should and shouldn’t do.  I remember her telling me specifically not to run.  It seemed to me in that moment that she was being overly serious- the bull didn’t look like it was a threat to us in the slightest.  And besides, it was really far away.  I wasn’t listening to her at all.  And then, all of a sudden, the bull looked up- straight toward us- and starting charging.  I didn’t care what she had said, I turned and ran.  For a moment it seemed like there really was no threat- the bull was so far away and I thought I had plenty of time to hide somewhere out of harms way.  My friend had since disappeared and I was now alone.  I ran over to the building and opened one of the many doors.  I realized quickly that the bull had covered a lot of ground quickly and was already close to being upon me.  I ran into the room behind the door I’d opened (which was like a storage unit on the inside) and went to slam the door behind me.  But the door wouldn’t close.  It seemed to have swollen in the humidity and was now too fat to close properly.  I put my full weight against it, coming to terms with the understanding that there was no way I was going to be able to hold off a bull with just my body weight.  I could hear him sniffing around the door handle out there, literally only inches of cheap wood separating the two of us.  He nosed the door a few times, but by some crazy luck decided to move on elsewhere.

Quickly I scanned the room around me which included a closet- and somehow I knew there was a shotgun in there.  I grabbed it with the intention of getting myself safely out of the confined room I was in, past the bull, and out of that damned place.  The only issue was that, though I have had a couple brief lessons on how to handle and shoot a shotgun, I have never actually done it.  And that terrified me.  Worse, when I walked outside of the room I found that the bull was circling a close friend of mine (and it was one of those strange dream scenarios where I knew who the friend was but he had a different face, so maybe it was an amalgamation of people.  But it was a mutual friend of myself and Robert- that part seemed important).  So the bull was circling and snorting and it was suddenly very apparent that the intention of this animal was to rape-to-death my friend.  This was a bull in heat.  I don’t know if this is in any way something that “raging bulls” actually do, and I don’t know how I knew that’s what was about to happen (perhaps the first friend who was warning me about what was to come had told me… I don’t know),  but I knew I had to shoot the bull in order to save my friend.  I was even more scared now because missing no longer simply meant missing and perhaps scaring or pissing the bull off more than he already was- missing now meant I could very easily shoot my friend by accident.  Shaking and sweating I brought the weapon up to my shoulder and was looking down the site when, out of nowhere Robert was behind me.  He took the gun from me carefully and went to aim and take care of the situation himself.  And then…

The phone rang and I woke up.

After I got off the phone I went back to bed and thought “huh. I was having a really exciting dream. Maybe I can go back to it”.  Then I remembered the specifics of the dream and realized I didn’t really want to go back there at all!

Now. What’s interesting is my rational interpretation of this and the emotions I was going through when Robert took the gun from me.

My emotion while I was still experiencing the dream was one of impotence and frustration at not being able to accomplish what I set out to do.  Part of this was frustration at my own fear, but the main aspect of it was that Robert came and “just took care of it”.  This happens from time to time in real life- he’s only trying to help and sees me struggling at something, so he helps by taking over.  I end up feeling half grateful and half helpless because I never get to figure out and solve my own problems.  We’ve talked about it and are always working at finding the right balance.  If I was faced with a deadly bull inches from a close friend of mine in real life then damn straight I’d want Robert to take the fucking gun!  He’s a better shot and has more experience, no contest.  But in the dream, however terrified I was… I guess I wanted to be my own hero.  When I had this dream Robert was about to go away for a month for EMT training and I was actually really excited to have the time to myself and be a completely separate and singular person for awhile.

The other facet of this dream is the timing of it and the place I was at in my life 2 months ago.  And this is where I believe the true meaning of the dream lies.  If I analyze the dream in the method where all characters are really pieces of my own self-conscious, then the meaning is quite apparent.  Without getting into the nitty gritty of each and every element, I was feeling completely and totally trapped by my job and frustrated by life in general.  I knew I needed to get out  (my sub-conscious had been warning me this for months and months) and yet I kept making rationalizations about why I should stay.  Slowly the realization was coming to me that working 40++ hours a week in an office is an extremely unhealthy thing for my person to be doing.  I had been putting way too much of myself into that place for no reward or really even thanks, and coming home every day with not an ounce of spirit or creative energy left.  I have done half of one painting in the year I’ve worked there.  I don’t draw, write, bike, or climb like I used to- or at all really!  It’s toxic.
The dream was actually quite accurate foreshadowing for what was to come.  The month while Robert was gone was utter hell as the staff at work got decimated, an 8-hour day became less common than unicorns and leprechauns, and the politics, bullshit, lies, and drama were ramped up past anything I’d ever seen there before.  I came home every day and all I could bring myself to do was drink wine and watch videos and be left the fuck alone.  It finally all came to a head, and with Robert wanting to look for EMT work in a larger city and my own utter depression we decided to take the leap and move to Portland.  One of us shot that damn bull.  Perhaps on the inside I wanted to be the savior of my own well-being, flip everybody off, and walk away.  But before I could actualize that, Roberts new career path took the reins and lead the way.  In my waking life I don’t give a damn who gets credit, I’m just happy as hell to be out of that ridiculous place and back on a new path where I will promise to remember what’s truly important to me and the things that I am no longer willing to sacrifice for any reason whatsoever.

After a hellish two weeks where it took all my strength to even be civil to other human beings, my last day at work was Friday.  I feel renewed and rejuvenated and completely grateful to have shed that daily grind from my life.  And yes, I did flip off the office the last time I drove away.  I think some random dude sitting in his car on the street saw me, and that made me laugh all the more.

(*Fun side note: you know those great little signs from the universe you sometimes get when you make the right move?  Well I had been house-hunting in Eugene for literally 6 months and absolutely nothing had even remotely worked out for a variety of reasons.  First email to an old co-worker in Portland telling her the news and lo-and-behold they have an extra bedroom in their house.  There. Matter settled.)

So, in keeping with spirit of liberating my shoulders from unnecessary weight and obligations, I cleansed and purged in one of the most classic ways possible.  I literally cut off the dead weight…

“IT’S A DEAD MUPPET!!” (pipes in Robert…)

Yep, that’s right, this last year I have worked and worked to grow my hair back out.  I fussed and dyed and had fancy feathers put in it, all to try to help myself through the awkward stage and on to long tresses of awesomeness.  Well, like my job experience, not all things you dedicate yourself to turn out the way you would have hoped.  I didn’t make a career out of my stint with a big herb company, and I didn’t find new inspiration in my mop.  All I ended up with was this very normal looking hair to go along with my attempt at some kind of very normal job. Hmf.

blech. So over it!!

And then…

after a big itchy mess..

PURGE!!!!!!

There’s that person I’ve been hiding all this time!  I feel so reborn right now.

And you know what I did get out of the last year?

A seriously kickass herb, tea and spice collection (and this doesn’t even include the body care products and tinctures!)

So, exciting things are to come.  Most important of them all, time. Time to think and create and feel and travel and simply be. I worry a little about finding work in Portland based on things I hear, but right now I feel more alive than I have in ages and, money-be-damned, that will float me for awhile..

seaweeding!

I meant to share this adventure over a month ago, but I can’t seem to get anything done in a timely manner these days. More to come on that in the next post though..

Anyway, back in August Robert and I went to harvest seaweed with a couple of people from my herb class. We all met at a lighthouse on the coast at 6am on a Sunday to catch low tide. I have never experienced truly low tide at the ocean before- it was absolutely incredible. And the seaweed was abounding! None of us had ever collected seaweed before, but we pooled our tiny bit of collective knowledge from books and lectures and did just fine. What a delightful day…

 

dawn on the Pacific

 

 

huge starfishies!

 

 

tide pool

 

 

bizillions of mussels! I'm going back for some of these so I can introduce them to my good friend, Mr. French Fry

 

 

actually, my sharp teeth aside, when you put your ear next to these critters you can hear them making the most amazing sounds, a symphony of mussel diatribe

 

 

Sidney and Robert trying to identify what we have

 

 

mountains of Nori!

 

 

getting ready to wash

 

 

washing

 

 

post-seaweeding walk

 

On the way home from the coast (after some truly awesome coffees in Yachats) we stopped to see the Darlingtonia californica (also known as the Cobra Lily or Cobra Orchid). This is a carnivorous plant that traps and digests insects. This time of year is after it’s bloom, so we didn’t get to see the amazing flower it makes, but it’s a rad looking plant nonetheless.

Here’s some info and a silly drawing of the flower:

just click on the picture if you actually want to see it larger and read...

And here’s what we saw:

 

Darlingtonia californica

 

Then we went home and covered the lawn with the fruits of our labor for some high quality sun drying. The house was also covered in clotheslines of seaweed for days! Yay new adventure and nutritious snack

 

sun dryin'

 

 

I don't remember what kind those pom-pom ones are, but they are definitely my favorite. yum!

 

who needs clothes on a clothesline? bah!

 

we couldn't keep Barn Cat away- she wanted to roll around in the middle of it all...

 

I must admit, I do like living just a short drive away from the ocean….

8 months gone

wow. 8 months of my life have passed since I last wrote a word here. I turned 30!

this makes me sad mostly because it’s due to my job that I don’t paint or write anymore. while there are things about my job that are wonderful and I feel lucky to be there, it’s SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME. I need out and I need out soon in one way or another. I realize that part of this is because my work moved across town and I’m still stuck out in the country where I no longer want to be and so add to the whole 9 to 5 gig a 35 minute drive each way and what do you get? One unhappy Penney. Plus I stare at a computer and type all day long so it’s not exactly something I feel like doing when I get home.

I’m in a strange place… I feel exhausted at the idea of rehashing the last 8 months and trying to describe every nook and cranny. Suffice it to say it’s all gone by too quickly which not much to show for it except for my herbal apprenticeship. That class really and truly is my saving grace and the only reason Robert and I are still in Eugene really. The next few months will be interesting. Here’s a brief whirlwind of news:

Robert is spending September in Washington doing a Wilderness EMT course here:  http://www.remotemedical.com/

I’m trying to move us back into town as quickly as possible with some wonderful people from my class. Otherwise not only will I still be stuck out in the boonies but work trade is over so we’ll have to pay rent. No no no thank you.  The farm is being sold, it’s time to go.

I’m getting a cell phone again and I’m not sharing it with anyone Give me about a week

I successfully grew a bunch of tomatoes, they’re just not red yet

I’m hoping to do the 2nd year of my herbal apprenticeship. Robert will probably look for EMT work in Portland. I will probably and very happily follow him there and commute to my class next year (it’s spaced out and only meets every 2 to 3 weeks)

I’m going seaweed harvesting next weekend

Oh there’s so much more but I’m scattered and refuse to try to think linearly right now. I’ll just try to keep this blog up. I wish I’d documented my herb class here for you all. Better late than never though right?

You can’t tell, but Mary is over yonder to my right in this photo. Hi Mary!

makin’ and doin’

I’ve felt so unproductive lately, like I can’t get anything done or even half started. I’m working close to 50 hours most weeks, it gets dark at 4-ish and it’s been bitterly cold the last week. work is so busy right now I come home exhausted and the only thing I seem to be really good for after that is drinking my half of a bottle of wine every night and dabbling at my knitting projects.
I get seriously depressed and home sick when I think about rock climbing- I was really getting good before we left Denver (climbing 5.11′s regularly) and now it’s all but lost from my life. there is a gym here but I just can’t get excited about it- it’s tiny and not nearly as dynamic as what we were used to. we do still go from time to time but I can’t help but get frustrated that my forearms have lost all their tone and endurance. nonetheless I think we’re going to buy a membership sometime soon. practice is always better than no practice, even if it’s not ideal.
anyway, I’m also still not bicycling even though we’re only 4.5 miles from my work. with as busy as I’ve been I just want to get there and get back as quickly as I can and not be freezing my butt off in the dark. I may change that this week though as this last cold spell caused my car to protest and now it won’t start. we think it needs new glow plugs. sigh.
I think about painting every day but can’t seem to get any sketches done or canvases prepped. I have half a dozen half started books that I can’t focus on and finish. my Spanish studies have disappeared into thin air. I’ve needed to call my father for weeks and keep putting it off. and don’t even get me started about the new things I have planned that I haven’t started (though I’ve invested in the ingredients to do so) and the knitting projects I can’t ever seem to quite finish. you get the picture.

so yeah, it’s tough to move somewhere just in time for the winter. it’s tough for me to work so much! perhaps that sounds lame, but I’m a much happier healthier person when I’m working 25-30 hours a week. I’m still trying to plug through my herb classes but I’m at a snails pace right now. I finished lesson 2 of 12 a couple months ago and in looking over my quiz questions that I had written in while listening to the lectures and trying to re-answer all the questions I just felt so… dumb I guess. trying to wrap my brain around all this physiology is really hard for me and I just feel like it’s not gelling at all and I’m not seeing the full picture. it took me a while to get over this feeling of self-defeat and move on to lesson 3. finally I have, but when I get home during the week with a fried brain the last thing I want to do is try to pack more in there and by the time the weekend rolls around I have so many other things to catch up on that studying still falls by the wayside a lot of the time.

okay, enough whining and self pity. that was not the point of this post. I actually wanted to talk about the things I have been accomplishing. as much as I feel like I’m stagnating and not being at all productive, when I looked around my house I realized that this is really not the case. I’m just too excited for my own good with all I want to be doing that I forget to look at what has been accomplished. for starters both Robert and myself have continued to make amazing friends and connections here. we had a delicious wonderful Thanksgiving with new friends, rock climbed with another, started a regular fun game night with another, and last night went to a kickass holiday cocktail party. I’ve met lots of people that knit and Robert and his friend Abe have already built a cob oven! but it’s really the little projects I have at home that make me feel good about myself. what I really need to do is make myself a tincture for OCD ADHD creative disorder. hah!

but anywoo, stuff made and done:

Robert brought home these gorgeous peppers from one of the farms he works at. I was about out of my last batch of hot sauce, so I promptly made more.

this project was actually not good for my blood pressure or ego though. first off, the peppers weren’t spicy at all!! bummer. then I royally screwed up the recipe, canned it all only to un-can it later, cook it down more and re-can. the details are boring, but this “hot” sauce is definitely sub-par to my last one. it’s savory and has a good flavor though, so what the hay.

I’ve been cooking again lots and lots and am so happy to have my own kitchen again, words can’t even say.

lovely Eugene produce that became yumminess in my tummy

last weekend I made a new batch of orange marmalade. I always throw some sweet potatoes in to thicken it up because I don’t like to put very much sugar in. I also threw in a couple hot chilies to spice it up. again, this did not work. I don’t know what my major malfunction is with peppers lately. so I don’t really know what the chilies did to the marmalade besides look pretty floating around in there.

same day I made lemon sage mustard. this one came out a bit weird too. also not as good as my last attempt at mustard. it’s too sweet and too lemony (which I never say- I love citrus in abundance). I think the reason for this is that the mustard seeds ALSO WERE NOT HOT!! what the hell is going on here?!? perhaps it will spice up with age, but the “hot” sauce didn’t. hmm.

and finito

my favorite chocolate cake recipe (which happens to be vegan)

today I got invited to an all girl cookie making party at Sharol’s house (she is who’s land we live on). there were 6 of us there and we spent the entire afternoon eating Sharol’s amazing cheese, drinking Sharol’s amazing wine (did I mention that Sharol is amazing?) and baking TONS of cookies! mine are the ones with jam in the middle. they are blackberry sage cornmeal thumbprints. yum! I actually liked them the best of all the cookies (is that narcissistic to say? it wasn’t my own recipe, so I say not) my second favorite are the little white ball. they’re bourbon balls and are supposed to be best around 4 days from now after the bourbon infuses. but as they are now you get the heat of the alcohol and I think that makes for an amazing cookie. (and yes, I’m a booze hound, what can I say)

in other non-food related projects, I have sucessfully mastered my spinning wheel. now I just have to find the time to actually finish a couple bobbins.

I continue to knit all the time of course. I’d like to show a couple new things I’m making, but they are gifts for people and if they look on here I don’t want to give anything away! I’ll have to post them later. but here’s a new pair of socks getting started for Robert and the Obey Giant scarf I’ve been dabbling at for over a year now. I can only do a few rows at a time before I go batty.

and what I see as my biggest accomplishment currently- I succesfully sewed something! if you know my history with sewing you realize that this is a milestone for me. I’m a terrible sewer, I’m scared of the sewing machine and always manage to screw up. I did pretty well when Tiffiny was my tutor, but without her I tend to be lost. but Robert helped me get the sewing machine up and running (actually he did it all, I’m still terrified of threading the damn thing) and I made my own pattern from an existing piece of clothing I have from these girls: http://tinctoriadesigns.com/store/
this clothing company is just 2 girls out of Portland and they hand dye all their fabric (that’s why everything is so expensive- but once you see and feel the fabric for yourself you understand and I think it’s worth it). so I made my own pattern from their layering skirt and after sewing the wrong side to the right side fall backward-like only once, ripping that out and redoing it and then altering it and redoing the waist band, I think I did a pretty good job! and I’m less scared of my ability and the sewing machine now. yay!

anyway, that’s it for now. projects in the works if I can get to them include: salve, lip balm, lots of tinctures, wine, cheese, mayo, soap, coconut milk and, of course, painting.

wish somebody would pay me just to make things all day…

movin’ to the country

i really didn’t think that things could go much more perfectly here than they already have. but i was wrong. seriously, Robert and i were fated to come here- this is exactly where we’re supposed to be and that’s an incredible feeling and realizaton.
(it doesn’t help me miss the rock climbing gym any less, but i realize that some sacrifice is always involved in order to make forward growth)

anyway, where to start? this is another series of syncronicities that just blows my mind. ok, so i told you all how shitty the landlord situation has been. actually, it’s all but gone away and the guy has completely chilled out, but…. something was lost for me in the whole thing. the motivation that i had to be part of a project there- to build things and create things- is completely derailed. and, honestly, i really really don’t like sharing a kitchen or having the kitchen be in a completely seperate building from my living space. food is such an intregal part of my life and i really thrive having culinary projects surround me. at our last apartment in Denver the kitchen was the center of everything and, no matter what i happened to be doing, i would often stop and start baking something, make a pot of soup, infuse some vinegar or vodka, make jam, pickles or ketchup and just generally always be creating. i don’t do that in our current house because it’s just more trouble than it’s worth. and that’s making me depressed. there is also one roommate that drives both of us crazy and well, after a brief 2 month stint at the whole community house thing- we’re bailing.

well, that’s a bit of an overstatement, because we weren’t going to.  we can’t afford to move right now and deal with a security deposit and all that jazz. but in that brief moment when we thought maybe the landlord would evict us, we did start scouting Craigslist for a new place to live. Robert had found a listing for a cottage for rent on a farm out in Pleasant Hill which is where my work is. when things calmed down we just dropped that idea as something that we would pick up again after the winter when we’d saved some money.

but one night Robert went to a potluck with some of our new friends. i was feeling a little under the weather so i stayed home. at this potluck Robert met a young woman who just happened to know that very cottage for rent very very well… because she had lived there for 6 years. the woman renting the cottage is a good friend of hers and, as it turns out, is also a very good old friend of Mazzi, the guy that Robert is working for. enough coincidences? not quite. the woman renting the cottage also happens to, 1. be a master herbalist 2. do a bunch of work and trade with Mountain Rose (my work) and 3. be Sharol Tilgner.

who is Sharol Tilgner? this is from an old Mountain Rose newsletter:
Sharol is “the founder of Wise Acres Farm, the Northwest Herb Fest, Wise Woman Herbals, and The Pacific NW Herbal Symposium, as well as the editor of Herbal Transitions and associate editor of Medical Herbalism. Sharol has been an herbalist for over 20 years, is a licensed naturopathic physician, and is the author of the well-known and loved book “Herbal Medicine From the Heart of the Earth”. In addition, Sharol manages a biodynamic farm which includes a full herbal garden, goats, and much much more!”

holy shit.

so this encompasses everything that we are doing and trying to learn. okay, so red flags started slapping us in the face that maybe, just maybe, even though we have no money to move and we would feel shitty leaving our housemates, particulary Chrystal, who has been so very good to us- maybe we needed to look into this further. so we send Sharol an email and set up a time to come visit the property. it is just as everyone at Mountain Rose told me it would be- beautiful, amazing, fertile, gorgeous, productive- and Sharol has done most of it all by herself. the woman is amazing. the cottage had a few drawbacks (electric stove, no bathtub, etc), but the pros far unweighed the cons. there is an outdoor kitchen, a river on one edge of the property, Sharol grows grapes and berries and makes her own wine and beer just like Robert, there are goats and chickens and a border collie and she offers tenants an entire acre of land to farm. AND it’s only about 4 miles max to my work instead of 15- i could ride my bike to work again!! (which by the way Mountain Rose pays 20 cents a mile for)

this isn’t even the best part. the best part? in exchange for two 7 and 1/2 hour days of work per week~  free rent. that’s right. full trade. and biodynamic farming is what Robert came here to learn in the first place, so it’s…. well, perfect.

so i’m excited beyond belief as Sharol takes us around her amazing land and she tells us at the end of it all that of all the many people that have come to look at the cottage she likes us best. i don’t know what warranted that, what we said to make her like us (because i know i was awkward and nervous and trying not to babble too much about how much i admire her), but once again everything just magically fell into place here. it feels as though there is a divine entity following us around and blessing all we touch.

so Robert is starting work trade with her tomorrow and we’re scheduled to move in on the 15th. we do owe her a chunk of money but she is working with us to make that as easy as possible.

also, Robert has been working really well with Mazzi and they’ve become fast friends. the other day Mazzi offered Robert an acre of land on his farm to do with as he pleases. as Robert began talking about his permaculture ideas to grow grains on a rotation Mazzi said “hmmm. well perhaps you’re just going to need 3 acres then”.

i almost can’t believe it’s all real.

poof!

what a couple weeks it’s been. it’s gone by so fast which frightens me a bit because what’s made it fly by is my office job. yikes.

okay, so yes, i got hired by a really really cool company, but the job sounds a lot more romantic than it is in reality. i’m so busy i don’t hardly have a moment for anything else. even lunch ends up feeling rushed. and all i’m doing is answering the phone, answering peoples mostly asinine questions (and mostly the same ten or so questions over and over again), and matching up office paper work. the herbs feel far, far away.

i’ll get more variety in a couple weeks. i’ll get taught how to process checks and credit cards and how to do the books once a week. WHEE!

don’t get me wrong, i’m not ungrateful- i’m still really excited to have the job and amazed that i got hired so quickly here where it’s the norm to search for a job for 7 months and still be unemployed. i’m not looking my gift horse in the mouth, no not me, no way.

i’m just a bit…. disenchanted. i had hoped for something more soul enlivening and not soul depleting. i’m really a happier healthier person when i work, say 25 or 30 hours a week and not 40 or 50. or if i get to be outside and getting some exercise. but hey, like i said, the company is awesome, their products are fantastic, the pay is decent, and i have a shot at benefits. benefits!!!

so i’m plugging along.

and it’s all worth it to do the herb apprenticeship with Howie in the spring. did i talk about that already? Howie Brounstein and Steven Yeager (who works at Mountain Rose with me- he’s the super smart lab guy) run an apprenticeship program every year as well as a whole host of other classes. they only accept 18 people a year for the apprenticeship which involves entire days out in the natural world learning to wildcraft, identify, pick and make medicine as well as bunches of lectures. it’s an incredible program and i’m so honored to be accepted. i wish i didn’t have to wait till spring for it to begin.

Robert has totally hit it off with this cool guy named Mazzi who is the son of the woman i met and visited here at the Waldorf school. Mazzie runs a Biodynamic farm (which Robert is studying very intently), runs a bakery (which Robert used to do), and is also very interested in blacksmithing. it’s a match made in heaven!

or Eugene anyway…

along with taking up a new hobby/job of fixing old sewing machines, Robert is also busily researching transition town initiatives. transition towns are cities that have active groups of people preparing for and educating people about the end of petroleum and how we will survive and adapt. both Portland and Ashland are already official transition towns, but Eugene surprisingly is not. so it looks like Robert may start his own. he found a girl on the internet who was looking for people interested in starting one (she had posted her interest some 6 months ago), but she wrote back to Robert and it looks like they’ll probably meet up.

what else? oh! i finally learned how to use my spinning wheel! i had been puttering with it here and there and feeling just mostly frustrated, but after getting a few pointers from a guy on an alpaca farm something finally clicked! i’m getting better by the day and it’s really fun and exciting. Julie, you’d be proud. and the timing is great because one of my housemates just brought home some 200 pounds of lovely sheep fluff. it’s all icky and needs to be cleaned and processed, but that’s great cause i wanted to learn that too.

and… i bought a car! well, technically Robert’s parents bought it and i’m paying them back. i really didn’t want a car again, but with my job almost 15 miles away and me taking on that apprenticeship it just made sense. (if i drive during that class i get paid a pretty decent chunk o change in return and i prefer to drive because i get carsick).

it’s an 84 diesel hatchback VW Rabbit. super cute! it reminds me so much of my old bug which i’ve been missing a lot lately. only it gets around 45 miles to the gallon. i really don’t know why diesels never caught on in this country.

other random things:

*i miss the climbing gym in Denver in the most dreadful way. i ache for it.

*i miss riding my bike to work but can’t commit the time right now to bike 30 miles every day.

*i’ve been feeling quite homesick lately for my dear Denver friends and Robert’s parents. *i’m a bit lonely too cause Robert is gone right now visiting his Grandpa with his dad.

*i made a shit load of hot sauce (it’s so much because i screwed up and added too much water. boo. but the peppers were hand picked by Robert on Mazzi’s farm)

*i learned from my herb class that more than 80% of the American population is Magnesium deficient, which, among other things, is what our bodies need to make energy. so i started taking Magnesium supplements and i feel amazing! i notice it mostly with my sleep. i need less of it and i wake up SO much easier in the mornings- often before the alarm even goes off which for me is unheard of. it’s even happened when i’ve only had 6 hours of sleep. wild.

and… oh yeah! our house almost got an eviction notice! HAHAHAHAHA! trust me, you don’t want to hear the whole story, it’s ridiculously long and complicated and full of stinky smelly oily BULLSHIT, but here’s the uber condescended version:

the landlord is a young guy and is completely crazy- seriously, he admitted to my housemate that he’s taken WAY too much acid and it shows. he’s bipolar and not all there upstairs- the cute kitty cat that hangs out here used to be his and you know what he named it? Dose.

yeah.

we’ve renamed her Sophia. she’s lovely and deserves a fitting name. asshole.

anyway, basically the landlord is a power-monger control freak who spends his time picking on people and decided ALL OF A SUDDEN, against everything that had led up to this point that he was going to change things on the lease. when it was pointed out that that was illegal he went for the stuff that had been verbally agreed to in good faith and wasn’t written down on the lease and slapped a $350 non-refundable pet “deposit” on the house for the second dog. battle ensued. he posted a non-compliance violation with threat of eviction and sent a nasty letter (well, to be fair, those were sent both ways) that said all kinds of ludicrous things and also said that we could no longer have chickens which he originally said we could. Superintendent guy seems also to be not quite put together correctly and perhaps an alcoholic. he was very nice to begin with and has had a complete about-face for no apparent reason that we can see except that maybe he got in trouble for having been too nice to us from Acid Head. it’s all a big disgusting power struggle and a couple of pathetic weak males that can’t have a girl tell them ANYTHING that they didn’t tell her first. this refers to Chrystal because she is in charge and has refused to take their shit. so they’re ganging up on her. but then! yes, Acid Face, we discover, has a crush on other house member Lisa. she meets with him and all of a sudden we’re NOT getting evicted and the dog is OK (it’s her dog) and he’s rewriting the pet agreement. hmmmmmm.

see? even the short version isn’t short. i’ve left so much out. basically, the lovely house energy that Chrystal wanted to cultivate has been shat upon and we’re trying to decide the best course of action. Acid Dude obviously can’t be trusted which means we can never feel completely at ease. and so, even though the anger is momentarily dispelled, one must wonder with this guy, what next?

of that i’m not sure… i just want to be left alone really, but i trust and respect Chrystal immensely and would support her in any decision she makes from here.

(you know what she just did for me? i couldn’t get my check cashed at first to buy the car and the people i was buying it from had already waited around for me for a week so she took the cash out of her own bank account and lent it to me. she hardly knows me! i’m really touched)

and Aaron is fixing the alternator belt on my car for me on his day off! i am really lucky for the handful of people i’ve met here. not including Acid Brain of course.

i’ll post some pictures of things that are cool when Robert returns with my camera J

ta ta for now

was lost but now i’m found

i forgot to have faith. faith in myself and the universe and in Eugene itself. because everything here has been amazing and has fallen into place more perfectly than i ever thought possible. Robert kept reminding me that whenever we need the money, it comes.
and it does.

i just forgot.

i forgot because i was so stressed about finding work that i was having nightmares. another couple weeks without a job and i would have had to borrow money to eat and pay my phone bill. yeah, it was that bad.

i even did a little class that the state of Oregon provides that helps you find work. they give you gas vouchers to help you- this state is incredible when it comes to taking care of people. i had done the beginning steps to get food stamps.

and then? the one job i really wanted, the one that is in my current field of interest- the ONLY place out of some 30+ places that i applied that even called me in for an interview- they hired me. the very day after i did the job search class, not even 12 hours after i sent in my application, resume and cover letter, i get a call. and for once someone was impressed with my wit on an application- i told her i had been really excited and she said in a awe-ish tone that i was very thorough (read verbose, chatty, can’t-shut-up, yeah that’s me). she was again surprised and impressed that i jumped at the chance to come in for an interview that very day- only 2.5 hours later. i hoped to convey my excitement more than my desperateness and somehow it worked. we had a great interview, she said she’d let me know by early next week and i went home biting my nails.

a couple hours later i get a call from a grocery store that i applied at- one that makes you do a drug test, forces you to do a humilating online survey as part of the online application process and tells me on the phone that if i get (the priviledge or course) of getting called in for a interview in person is it ok that you can’t have crazy hair or facial piercings? i swallowed my pride and ethics and said sure, of course, because what if i didn’t get the job i really wanted? in the 5 minutes i was on the phone with this place i miss another call. after i see that it’s the other place! but no message was left! why? what does it all mean?

next i go to visit the Eugene Waldorf School to visit and meet a woman named Leanne and observe some of their teacher training course. this is another amazing experience in and of itself. what a beautiful school and Leanne was one of the more beautifula and kind people i’ve ever met.

when i leave the school a couple hours later i have a voicemail! it’s the cool job! they didn’t want to risk waiting until next week to offer me a job! i start on Monday! holy crap!!

okay, okay, i’ll tell you where it is

it’s here: http://www.mountainroseherbs.com/

every single person in Eugene i’ve mentioned this company to has smiled and gotten excited and told me how wonderful they are. and it’s true. i got to tour their whole warehouse and cozy office and it’s a pretty amazing place. it’s mostly all organic and what’s not is tested in a lab to check for pesticide residue. they are working toward as much local wild crafting as they can. and i got offered a position in the Customer Service department, taking phone calls, filling orders and talking to people all over the world about herbs. it’s a good starting wage, full time and in 6 months they will offer me 1. insurance that includes all alternative medicine 2. vision and dental 3. paid time off and 4. tuition reimbursement to continue my herb studies.

holy fucking crap.

here’s the other part of the story: Robert’s main interest and focus here is continuing his blacksmithing and learning biodynamic farming and permaculture and perhaps starting a non-profit. but mainly the farming part. well, the son of the woman from the Waldorf school runs a biodynamic farm, an organic bakery and has dabbled in blacksmithing. this morning at the Farmers Market we met Leanne who was disappointed to tell us that her son was nowhere to be found. in less than 3 minutes he randomly showed up, told me that he’s getting ready to work with Mountain Rose to get them more local herbs and he offered Robert a job on his farm. no shit. (Robert also used to be a baker by the way). not only that but Robert found a whole crew of men young and old that meet once a week to blacksmith and talk AND he’s been given a little office space at one of Aaron and Mitra’s clothing shops to use as an office and another to use as a workspace where he’s going to be fixing up their sewing machines.

i seriously cannot believe that this has all transpired in 2 weeks. what planet is this city on?

the only downside is that my job is about 11 miles away, sort of out in the country. it’s highway out there too, with no real bike paths that i can tell. so i will probably need to get a second car so Robert can have the truck (which i really don’t want to be using every day anyway). but i’ve been having a serious craving for another old VW bug in my life, so there you go.

in all my years i have never had so many things fall so perfectly into place all at the same time. i’m really glad we listened to our first inclination to stay put here- as hair-brained as that seemed at the time.

so i’ll keep you posted how it goes from here!

love

bittersweet

it’s hard to be in a really cool place with really cool things to do and buy and eat and have really cool projects you want to start working on and…

can’t find a bloody job!!!

grrr. i should have known this wouldn’t be easy. i guess i’m just a bit naive about these things. i know i’m cool and fun and so i figure someone will just obviously really really want to hire me because my shy “hello” and artsy looking resume automatically conveys all of that if you just look hard enough. HAHAHAHAHAA!!!
silly Penney monkey.

sigh. not only is the economy in the toilet, but Oregon already had a 10% unemployment rate AND we picked a college town to settle into right when all the students came back and snatched up all the jobs. brilliant!
i had a few days of complete and utter hopelessness and depression. we’re about to be more broke than we’ve ever been. but the last couple days i feel better. my optimism is pretty tenacious usually. and we’re lucky because the girl we moved into the house with is totally open to work trade. so we’re going to brew a bunch more beer, build a chicken coop, fix up the basement and other various projects and she’s cutting our rent next month down drastically. thank goodness because otherwise i’d have to choose between paying rent next or paying the other bills- couldn’t do both- and i don’t like having to make decisions. so there.

we’re also converting most of the big back yard to garden space and i bought a bunch of plants that can over-winter. so on Sunday i planted purple sprouting broccoli, rainbow chard, kale and horseradish. and they seem very happy! Robert made a beautiful circular garden spot where we’re going to plant tons and tons of garlic too. i’ll take pictures of it all soon.

other lovely random Eugene things:
*the downtown area is full of amazing little independent culinary and coffee nooks. me love.
*people are friendly
*there are little parks in every neighborhood and blackberries grow everywhere
*the Farmers Market is unbelievable and there is one every Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday for a large portion of the year. one inside even during the winter
*there is an amazing flea market every few weeks with the best assortment of oddities and treasures you could ever hope for
*the arts seem very well supported. there’s a first Friday art walk and a last Friday art walk!
*the poor are extremely well taken care of. there are tons of free dinners, a food bank that’s completely free and that all the little local grocery stores donate really good stuff too, and the food stamp program is incredibly generous- even a lot of the veggie stands at the farmers market take the food stamp card! because poor people should eat excellent quality food too! imagine that.
*every neighborhood has a cute little independent market with natural and local foods
*the coffee shop closet to our house makes a vanilla latte with a REAL vanilla bean pod in it. so. delicious. and it’s about to be open 24 hours.
*there are cheap, fairly quick trains to Portland and Seattle every day
*lots of people know how to mushroom hunt and are sometimes willing to teach. Robert got to go already! check it out here: http://abzirkah.wordpress.com/2009/09/26/stalking-the-elusive-chanterelle/

i’m sure there are tons of other things i just can’t think of right now.

another exciting thing is that this Saturday i’m meeting with Howie Brounstein. he’s the guy that runs Columbine School of Botanical Medicine here in Eugene, does a bunch of the lectures in the class i’m currently enrolled in (the distance course through SW School of Botanical Medicine), and he was at the course i did in NM. he does an apprenticeship program where he takes people out in the woods for entire days. i have a interview with him and his collegue Saturday for that program and he does a tiny bit of work trade- he said i’m in a good position for receiving that because i’m here in Eugene and i’m talking to him early before many other people for this season. it’s so great that he’s so close. like i mentioned when writing about NM, he’s a wizard of the herbs and a lot of fun. when Robert and i first got here we just called him up and even though he was really busy packing for a camping trip he met us for a walk through a little forest patch here in town.

i have a new idea brewing in my head for a art/sewing project that i hope to sell here. i’m very excited about it and hopefully i’ll have some money here soon so i can get supplies. i’ll reveal more about what it is later.

Robert and i are again brainstorming about our non-profit ideas. the local community college has some fantastic resources for learning about and starting non-profits and small businesses. we’ve started to network and brainstorm and hopefully some of the things we’ve been talking about for years will be able to come to fruition.

in job hunting for myself  i’ve started thinking more seriously about certain things that i might be interested in making an actual career out of. Robert’s mom in a teacher and she’s always been really encouraging about either one of us doing the same. i’ve started looking into some of the teacher training programs and the wheels in my head are turning. i think it could be really rewarding work and i’d always have the summers off which is super fantastic. there is even a Waldorf school right here in Eugene that does teacher training- a whole different level of commitment and dedication, but if there’s any school system that i truly believe in with every fiber of my being, it’s Waldorf. it’s of course all a matter of money. no one is going to give me any more loans for school, so i’m not sure how to make it all happen, but we’ll see.

moving to a new place is a crazy feeling. my emotions have been on such an up and down. i was on a kind of high for a bit and then i hit rock bottom and now i hope i’m leveling out a bit. i did have a very tangible moment when Robert left for a couple days of mushroom hunting and i was alone for the first time in awhile and i felt such complete and utter loneliness. i have the worlds most amazing friends in Denver- especially the strong amazing women that have been my strength and inspiration for so long. i had this moment of sadness where i worried that i’d left the best people that i’ve ever known never to be replaced again. i know i’ll meet new wonderful people here, but it’s so hard to leave such a wonderful family. and family too! leaving Robert’s parents was really hard. they have been so amazing to me like my real parents never have. i couldn’t help wondering if i was completely bat-shit crazy for leaving all that as well as the Rocky Mountains and the 300+ days of sunshine for rainy Oregon. but despite all that i feel rejuvenated here. i feel inspired and ready to start new things in a way i wasn’t feeling in Denver. i think i had stagnated there and needed to break free.

i’ve applied for some 20 jobs in the last week and you know what? i forgot how much work not working is! i feel so drained. so, i’m off to do more of the same- wish me luck and send me your job-getting good thoughts!!